Why Ice Cream and the Gym Can’t Replace Therapy (Even If We Wish They Could)
Let’s be honest: when life gets hard, many of us turn to the usual suspects—ice cream, a long run, binge-watching a comfort show, or texting a friend with “you up?” at 9 PM (for emotional support, of course). And while those things can be helpful, none of them are actual therapy.
As a therapist, I hear this a lot:
“The gym is my therapy.”
“Honestly, ice cream works faster than my therapist.”
“I just vent to my dog—way cheaper.”
Fair points. Dogs are amazing listeners, and ice cream never interrupts. But let’s talk about why these beloved comforts—while wonderful in their own ways—aren’t substitutes for therapy.
Ice Cream Feels Great—Until It Doesn’t
Yes, a pint of chocolate ice cream can take the edge off a breakup, a bad day at work, or that existential spiral you fell into at 2 PM.
But ice cream is a short-term coping tool, not a long-term healing strategy.
Therapy doesn’t promise instant dopamine. Instead, it helps you understand why you’re reaching for comfort in the first place. You get to ask:
What feelings am I avoiding?
Where did I learn to soothe like this?
What else is possible?
Plus, therapy won’t give you a sugar crash.
The Gym Is Incredible—But It Can’t Ask You “How Are You, Really?”
There’s no question: movement is helpful in so many ways. It boosts mood, lowers stress, and gives you those endorphins. But the squat rack won’t gently challenge your people-pleasing habits or unhelpful self-talk. (If it does, please call me—I have follow-up questions.)
Therapy is where you unpack the “why” behind the overworking, perfectionism, avoidance, or whatever’s driving you to crush 6 AM workouts but still feel emotionally stuck.
Working out moves your body. Therapy moves your mind.
Talking to Friends Feels Like Therapy—Until It Gets Awkward
Venting to a friend can be a beautiful part of your support system. But even the best friends have limits:
They might give advice instead of listening.
They have their own stuff going on.
And they probably aren’t trained to hold your trauma and your jokes about it.
Therapy gives you a space where it’s 100% about you. No one else’s needs, no emotional labor, no group texts to navigate. Just you, your story, and someone who’s trained to help you grow through it and not judge you or just tell you want you want to hear. Don’t worry, I do that last part with compassion.
Therapy Helps You Get Curious and Lean into the Discomfort
All those other coping tools help you feel better.
Therapy helps you feel more—more aware, more compassionate with yourself, more empowered to make changes.
It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about becoming more you, with support along the way.
So... Should You Stop Eating Ice Cream or Going to the Gym?
Absolutely not! In fact, I’ll strongly recommend you do both in addition to therapy! I love both.
But if you’re trying to use coping tools instead of processing your emotions, your patterns, or your pain—therapy might be the thing that makes those other tools actually work better. As I’ve blogged about before, this is way more than just changing your mindset. It’s about rewriting your story and doing the work on the beliefs underneath your mindset.
Final Thoughts from a Therapist Who Also Loves Snacks and Lifting Weights :
There’s no shame in using what helps. But if you’re stuck in the same loops, craving change, or just tired of carrying things alone, therapy can give you more than a temporary boost. It can give you clarity, healing, and direction.
Because as great as ice cream is, it’s never once asked you about your inner child or where you feel something in your body.