Popular Psychology Terms—What They Really Mean (From a Therapist's Perspective)

In recent years, psychological language has become part of everyday conversation (shout out to social media). While it's encouraging to see mental health discussed more openly to help reduce stigma, many clinical terms are being used in ways that don’t match their actual meanings. As a therapist, I often see clients confused—or even distressed—by labels they or others have applied without fully understanding them.

In this post, we’ll break down some of the most popular psychology terms and explain what they really mean, in a therapeutic context.

“Triggered” Isn’t Just About Being Upset

Popular Use:
"I'm so triggered right now" is often used to mean "I'm annoyed" or "this topic is uncomfortable."

Clinical Meaning:
In therapy, a trigger refers to a stimulus (like a sound, smell, or image) that involuntarily brings someone back into a traumatic memory or nervous system response. Being triggered can result in intense emotional, physiological, or dissociative reactions, often outside the person’s conscious control.  Here’s an nnpopular opinion, we actually need to be triggered.  This lets us know where there is still work to be done. As my friend and colleague, Jessie Alexander,says “Triggers are opportunities” and I believe that. They guide us to explore past wounds and hurts.  

Why It Matters:
Reducing “triggered” to just “offended” or “bothered” minimizes the serious impact of trauma responses—and can alienate people who are managing past traumatic events,  PTSD or C-PTSD.

“Gaslighting” Is More Than Just Lying

Popular Use:
People often say “they’re gaslighting me” when someone disagrees with them or denies a version of events.

Clinical Meaning:
Gaslighting is a deliberate, manipulative tactic where someone causes another person to question their reality, memory, or perception—often as part of a pattern of emotional abuse. It’s not just disagreement or forgetfulness; it’s intentional and psychologically harmful. It’s incredibly confusing in abusive situations when you recognize a loved one is making you question your memory and reality. 

Why It Matters:
Overusing or misusing this term can dilute the meaning and make it harder for survivors of abuse to name their experience.

“Narcissist” Isn’t a Catch-All Insult

Popular Use:
“Narcissist” is often used to describe anyone who is selfish, arrogant, or self-absorbed.

Clinical Meaning:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a diagnosable mental health condition characterized by a fragile sense of self, difficulty with empathy, chronic need for admiration, and deep underlying shame. Many people may show narcissistic traits, especially under stress, but that doesn’t mean they meet criteria for NPD.

Why It Matters:
Labeling difficult people as “narcissists” can shortcut understanding, and can also stigmatize people genuinely struggling with personality disorders. As I mentioned above, some people may have some of the traits of this disorder but it doesn’t mean they meet the full criteria.

“OCD” Isn’t About Being Neat

Popular Use:
“I’m so OCD” is often said when someone likes things tidy or symmetrical. This is one that is probably going to upset a few people here! I can’t tell you how often I hear this being  misused.

Clinical Meaning:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder involving intrusive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental rituals (compulsions) performed to relieve distress. It can be debilitating and is not about preference or neatness—it’s about managing deep discomfort or fear.

Why It Matters:
Minimizing OCD to a personality quirk contributes to misunderstanding and can deter people from seeking help.

“Boundaries” Aren’t About Controlling Others

Popular Use:
“She crossed my boundaries” can sometimes mean “she did something I don’t like.”

Clinical Meaning:
In therapy, boundaries refer to the limits and expectations we set to protect our emotional, physical,energetic and mental well-being. They are about what we will do in response to behavior—not about controlling someone else’s choices. We have zero control over what others may do, including if they cross a boundary of ours. It’s also up to us to maintain our own boundaries. 

Why It Matters:
Healthy boundaries require self-awareness and accountability, not rigid rules for others. Misunderstanding this can lead to miscommunication and resentment in relationships. I will add that if someone does cross one of your boundaries, you are certainly welcome to address that and do what you need to do to protect your well-being.

“Attachment Style” Isn’t Your Relationship Destiny

Popular Use:
“I’m anxiously attached so I always ruin relationships.”

Clinical Meaning:
Attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—are patterns of relating based on early experiences. While they influence how we connect with others, they’re not fixed labels. With awareness and support, people can shift toward more secure relating over time. You can also have different attachment patterns with different relationships. 

Why It Matters:
Using attachment styles as excuses can reinforce limiting beliefs. Understanding your style is a starting point for growth, not a sentence.

Why Language Matters in Mental Health

The words we use shape how we see ourselves and others. Using psychological terms accurately honors the complexity of mental health and promotes empathy over judgment. It also helps us differentiate between everyday struggles and issues that may need clinical support.

If you’re ever unsure about a term, consider seeking out reliable sources—or ask a therapist, like myself. Don’t believe everything you see on TikTok, especially when it comes to mental health. We're here to help translate the language of psychology into something human and healing.